No butts about it…

What a delightful start to the day! His Lordship told me that a guy would be coming at 8am to fix our back door. You see, we were burgled back in June via the back door, which was kicked in, and finally now someone is going to fix it. It’s been nailed shut for the past six months.

So with 8am in my mind, His Lordship showered first and I followed. It was 7:45, and as I did my usual stroll from the bathroom back to the bedroom in my birthday suit, without even a towel to hand,  and with the familairity and lack of concern that only 30 odd years of marriage can bring, there to my left was a young man standing at the door. His mouth hanging open I think ,in appalled horror, and his left hand raised to knock. Well, I think he was young, but I am pretty sure it was horror. I can’t be completely certain, as I moved pretty fast, to be fair. The front door is a large sliding door – full glass. So there was really nothing left for him to imagine.

I shrieked and leapt forward, diving into the bedroom and slamming the door. I wrenched my knee on the way through. I’m fairly sure I heard an echoing shriek from the front porch too.

His Lordship, who found the whole thing more than slightly amusing judging by the smirk on his face, dealt with the poor pale fellow at the door who diligently measured up the door – from outside the house, I might add. He said he was off to Bunnings to pick up a new one, and fled.

I did the same, hastily throwing some clothes on and tearing out of the house, jumping into the car and fleeing the street with spinning wheels before the poor bloke returned. You see, Bunnings is just around the corner, and in a very small town you can never cite heavy traffic as a reason for not being punctual. I wasn’t leaving his fast return to chance.

I will return only when I’m sure he’s finished replacing the door. If I pull up at the house and his van is still there, I will circle the block until he is gone. It’s not something he can ever un-see so the last thing either of us needs is to make any further eye contact.

downloadAnd as a follow up on the wrenched knee, I’m in agony. And I really need to get home to get my hands on some better drugs.


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